Top Ten Action Scenes of All Time #6: 300 (2 vs. a lot)

#6 Two vs A Lot

To pick one scene from 300 is almost a little silly; the whole movie is essentially one big action scene. This sequence, in which two Spartans slaughter 30+ Persians, is probably the best choreographed fight scene in the movie. The camera circles around the Spartans as they ruthlessly hack and slash at their opponents. I think I actually giggled when I first saw this scene in the theater because of how in your face it is. It's a very showy sequence and the director Zach Snyder is smart to keep it pretty short. It lasts around 75 seconds but has so much going on that it merits repeated viewing. Fast forward to minute 5:50 in the clip below to watch a scene that can best be described as "kick-ass".

Damn You Jeff Goldblum Damn You....

I love Law and Order; who doesn't. It's always on and always great. Better yet, it's on almost exclusively when I have nothing else to do. That being said, dammit. Law and Order is a sanctuary, one of the few television shows I can actually count on to provide me with a full hour of entertainment. But now, Eve has eaten the apple, paradise has been corrupted, the angels have fallen from grace. If you don't quite follow where I'm going with this, I'll fill you in. Jeff F-ing Goldblum is replacing Chris Noth on Law and Order: Criminal Intent. I know, I know, Criminal Intent is the ugly cousin of normal Law and Order, but it's still family and I don't like to hear that it's being sullied by the plague upon this world known as Jeff Goldblum. Shame on you Jeff Goldblum, shame on you.

Top 10 Action Scenes of All Time #7: Old Boy (Hallway Fight)

#7 The Hallway Fight

Why is this scene so amazing? Well, lets see, we have here, one of the few scenes where it is actually plausible that one man defeats twenty...oh, and he does it with a knife sticking out of his back....enough said. It's also nice to see villains who are concerned with their own well being as opposed to the mindless drones in most action movies who run to their deaths like moths to a flame/lemmings if you're into that sort of thing.... These "bad guys" are real people, they don't want to get hit in the head with hammer as much as you or I, and they act accordingly. Take a gander....

Oh, and you've got to like the guy for asking for blood doners for a guy whose teeth he's just ripped out with hammer. If you're wondering what that's called...it's character.

Top 10 Action Scenes of All Time #8: Crouching Tiger (Dojo Fight )

#8 The Dojo Fight

This scene has everything a one on one fight scene should. The Choreography is absolutely outstanding, and even more importantly it is beautifully executed. The fighting never looks like fake,as in some movies...damn you George Lucas..sometimes it's nice to watch a fight scene where it looks as if the characters are actually trying to hurt each other..

Furthermore, Ang Lee keeps you excited throughout the whole scene, partially through having Michelle Yeoh change weapons about every 30 seconds. That brings up another important aspect of the scene. The weapons are amazing. Lets do a play by play of the weapons used within the fight...Zhang Ziyi uses the green destiny sword throughout the entire fight..not too exciting....but...Michelle Yeoh begins with a machete...that splits into two machetes...amazing....grabs a spear...breaks that...picks up two odd looking swords with hooks on the ends...breaks those...grabs a giant pole....drops that...pulls a pipe looking weapon off the wall...that gets chopped in half...oh wait....that was all build up. The real fight begins once Michelle Yeoh takes a longsword off of the wall.

Enjoy...

Top 10 Action Scenes of All Time: #9 The Two Towers (Helms Deep)

#9 Helms Deep

Helms Deep is an amazing sequence. To be fair, it's made up of a number of scenes, but it's one battle and it's spectacular.

What it has going for it:

-It's the first large scale battle scene in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy (I'm not counting the few seconds of battle in the beginning of fellowship)
-The special effects are outstanding. There are hundreds of digital soldiers on screen, and yet they all act and look natural.
-Has midget tossing (which now that I think of it, seems to be a theme in Lord of the Rings films)
-Contains just the right amount of build-up heightening the drama of the entire scene.

Aside from the bullet points, the whole scene is incredibly exhilarating. I remember sitting there completely in awe as hundreds and hundreds of Uruk-hai fell as the soldiers inside Helms Deep launched volley after volley of arrows. I'll always remember the first charge of the battle where for just one second, the arrows essentially create a wall, killing anyone who touches it. This scene kicks ass.

I've added a little clip to remind you how great this scene is. As for my favorite part, scan to 6:30 into the vid.

Top 10 Action Scenes of All Time #10: X-2 (The Mansion Siege)

#10: Mansion Siege

When you're talking about 'best action scenes', there's always going to be a tremendous amount of subjectivity and baggage in terms of what we view as best.



....but I've always liked Wolverine and (although Jackman is the heart and soul of the movie) the first movie didn't do him justice as a superhero. Specifically, as a violent, poorly self-controlled brawler. There was little to none of that frenetic action in the first movie, most of the fights in the first feel a bit stiff, frankly.



So in this movie, which had hit the high and low notes of the comic so well up to this scene, finally has soldiers invade the mansion and go after the students, it was refreshing and exciting that everyone involved played it true to the character and had Wolverine absolutely lose his shit. I mean completely. He's yelling and screaming and slicing up people left and right and if you don't like that then you clearly aren't prepared to root for a guy with steak knives strapped to his hands. We've never seen a good cinematic depiction before this one and it was pretty note-perfect. Maybe the new Wolverine movie will one-up this scene, but it won't have the advantage of 'first time' status and, frankly, if X-Men 3 is any indication the Wolverine movie will stink.



The satisfaction of finally seeing Wolverine be the fighter he's imagined to be would be enough, but it's actually shot and choreographed so well that I really believe that I am watching Hugh Jackman (alias: Huge Ackman) be this savage blur of death, tearing through the (legitimately intimidating) soldiers. A well-above average action scene with an iconic representation of one of my favorite childhood characters? Sounds like Top 10 material to me.



As a bonus, it's great that the other character's powers are used to good effect in the scene: Iceman, Kitty Pryde, Colossus, frankly all the ways in which the students tried to mess with the various soldiers was appreciated, it one of those moments that reminds me how much more thought and interest was put in to this movie than the other two.

The New Top Ten's

Tomorrow I will be posting the first of many new Top Tens which Hen and I have been working on for some time: The Top Ten Action Scenes of All Time. This list has been in the pipeline for what seems like forever...it's pretty damn hard to agree on which ten scenes to include, and even harder to figure out how to rank them. In order to keep things fair, we, meaning myself, Hen and Ben, all ranked the ten scenes on the list 1-10 and then added together the scores for each scene..the lower the score the better...as in, I give scene X a 4, Ben gives it a 2, and Henry gives it a 3, wallah 9 points.

I'll be posting the first one tomorrow at 11:30 and a new one each following day at the same time. Make sure to check in to see if any of your picks are on the list, or to let us know which favorites of yours you think should have made the cut. As always, sarcasm and hyperbole are appreciated in any comments you decide to make....

Henry Experienced: The Love Guru

I will say this first: YOU HAVE TO SEE THE LOVE GURU! Don't believe the critics...this is a modern classic. A new pillar of cinema. It is joy incarnate and brilliance defined. It's all that and more. Click the link below to read my full thoughts on what is unquestionably the best film of the year if not the best thing ever created by man.


I’m speechless.

There are times in a man’s life when words are not enough. Even the most brilliant writer, which obviously I am not, cannot properly describe what they are feeling. These moments are rare and when they occur it is very easy to just rely on hyperbole. The first time I heard Beethoven’s 9th I was sure it was the finest piece of music I had ever heard. When I read the last page of “The Dead” by James Joyce I was certain I had just read the finest page of literature ever written. Who knows how many “greatest moments of my life” I’ve had. When I met a Ninja Turtle, when I first got a dog, my first kiss, when I first encountered morphine, a really good catch I made in college once, when the Red Sox won the World Series. It’s just so easy to proclaim something is “the best”. That said, I feel like I am being completely honest when I say the following:

The Love Guru is the funniest movie ever made.

Just think about that. Here’s what I want you to do. Think of a movie that really makes you laugh. I mean really laugh. The laughter that feels like God himself just told you the joke and he is fucking hysterical. Where everything is right and good and perfect because of how damn funny something is. So think of a movie that makes you feel that way. Now multiply that film by 1000. But that’s not even enough. Imagine it gives amazing back massages, cooks you perfect pancakes every morning, and a great day for them is lying in bed all day with you watching whatever you like.

So try to picture that movie… and you still won’t be imagining a movie as overwhelmingly amazing as The Love Guru. As I said, when describing greatness it can be hard to know where to start. So, forgive the cliché, I think I will just start at the beginning.

Mike Myers has been a part of some great things. Some of his skits on SNL are among the best the show has ever seen. Wayne’s World is a very funny film and So I Married an Axe Murderer is a totally underappreciated gem. Austin Powers, the first one I must point out, is a comedy classic. Until The Love Guru it was the peak of Myers’ career.

So when I first saw the trailer for The Love Guru I was sad because it seemed to be another failure from Myers following his lackluster Austin Powers sequels and the dreadful Cat in the Hat. The Love Guru looked like the kind of movie that would just be painful. Just agony. It seemed to be the kind of movie that makes you question the existence of goodness, as a concept, in the world. It appeared like it would be a pathetic, mind-boggling, kind of creepy, marathon of crap. Like the kind of movie that I would rather eat used toilet paper than ever see. Just total, total shit. TOTAL SHIT. This is what I thought the movie would be. So I walked into the theater today sure that I was about to watch a terrible film. How wrong I was.

We start with a voiceover from Morgan Freeman only to see that it is actually Mike Myer’s character Guru Pitka using a “voiceover” machine. I immediately was drawn in. It was the originality of making a joke about Morgan Freeman doing voiceovers that caught my attention. It was so fresh…like nothing I’ve ever heard or seen before. We then get a pre-credits sequence where we get the bones of the plot. Guru Pitka tells about how preaches about self-love and loving other and is a spiritual guide for many people around the world. We then cut to a sports show, with one of the anchors played by Stephen Colbert, who delivers a wonderful joke about beating up Dame Judy Dench. We learn about hockey player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), the Toronto Maple Leaves best player, whose wife has left him for one Jacques “Le Coc” Grande (Justin Timberlake!). Roanoke has lost all his confidence as a result of this. I think you can see where the plot is going. One might think that being able to predict everything that will happen in the movie is a bad thing. No. You are wrong. Because I knew exactly how the plot would turn out, I mean exactly, I was able to sit back and just laugh at the copious amount of gut-bursting laughs. Like Guru Pitka’s early joke about a small penis. That is just genius.

I also want to point out the more subtle brilliance of the script. For instance, Darren’s last name of Roanoke is an obvious reference to the Roanoke Colony. As we all know, Roanoke Colony is famous because all its settlers mysteriously disappeared and it is known as “The Lost Colony”. Darren is lost in life…wow. I mean Myers, who wrote the film, is operating on a whole other level with this film.

We next meet Jessica Alba, looking like her usual hot self, playing the team owner of the Maple Leaves. She’s worried about Roanoke and decides she will hire the Guru Pitka to try to save his career. And this is all just before the credits. Just describing it I’m breathless.

The credit sequence is Mike Myers singing Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” using a sitar. It’s an energy-packed beginning nearly 8 minutes into the film. Nothing gets my juices flowing like a 28 year old Dolly Parton song being played on the sitar by Mike Myers. Nothing. After the credits we start to see the kind of humor Myers employs in the film. He uses some jokes from Austin Powers: Goldmember and even though they were not funny in that movie, they really work now. Guru Pitka’s catch phrase is “Mariska Hargitay” a reference to the actress on Law and Order: SVU. Lord knows WHY this is his catch phrase, but every time he says it (and I’d guess it’s around 75 times) it made me burst out laughing. And when the real Mariska Hargitay appears as herself early on in the film, I nearly pissed myself I was laughing so hard. Ask Sam, he was there.

Throughout the film we get flashbacks to when Pitka was just a child and was taught by his guru played by Ben Kingsly. I was shocked, shocked, to see Ben Kingsly in The Love Guru. He’s usually so selective about his work but he must have read the script and known he HAD to be a part of this film. He makes a joke about doggy style and missionary positions that has to be heard to be believed.

Pitka is a bit of a celebrity in Los Angeles. Jessica Simpson, sad Val Kilmer, and as previously mentioned Mariska Hargitay all appear as themselves. This in no way felt like forced cameo appearances. Here, it really helped the story. It is important that we know that Pitka is something of a big deal. But he is not satisfied. Pitka wants to be as big as Deepak Chopra. Now I have no idea who Chopra is…but apparently he’s famous. Either way, it didn’t matter that there are a bunch of references to Deepak Chopra throughout the film, because the movie tells us everything we need to know. Pitka wants to be thought of as a better guru than Chopra and to appear on Oprah. He sees his chance when Jessica Alba hires him to save her star player. Pitka is obviously attracted to Alba but has devoted himself to a life of celibacy until he truly loves himself. It is in no way creepy and disturbing to have Myers, 45, flirting with Alba, 27, as they have a natural chemistry due in a large part to their fantastic acting abilities.

The coach of the Maple Leaves is played by Austin Powers alum Verne Troyer (Mini-Me). See, I had thought that everything that needed to be said about little people was said in the Austin Powers sequels. I’m sure you did too. Well we are fools. Every single joke about Verne Troyer being short made me crack up. At one point, when Pitka makes a reference to Verne Troyer being a midget, I thought I was going to die.

Pitka meets Darren and tells him to write a letter apologizing to his ex-wife for anything he might have done wrong. Pitka goes to Jacques Grand’s house to deliver the letter and encounters a guard rooster. You read that right…a guard rooster. Where do they come up with this stuff? While Pitka is killing the rooster, Timberlake is serenading Prudence Roanoke with Celine Dion’s great song “Because You Loved Me”. Here I must stop for a moment to commend Mike Myers. See for the rest of us…it is 2008. But for Mike Myers and director Marco Schnabel it is still 1998. For them, Celine Dion jokes are funny. Having people use acronyms that spell B.L.O.W.M.E. is funny. The only songs worth using are greats such as “Brimful of Asha” and “Song 2” which both came out in 1997. They are trying to remind us of when men were men and comedy was comedy…the late 90’s. They refuse to conform to our lame, modern, definitions of humor. They don’t want to live in a post-frat pack, post-Judd Apatow, post-South Park world…they want to evoke a time when forcing the word “shit” into a sentence and eating food that looks like a ball sack is funny. Thank god for Mike Myers.

Pitka delivers the letter but Prudence is not completely sold. The rest of the movie follows Pitka as he tries to build up Darren’s confidence, get Darren over issues he has with his mother, reunite Darren and Prudence, and just maybe get some action with Jessica Alba for himself.

I will stop summarizing the movie (I want you to be as surprised as I was) but I will give you a little taste of what the rest of the movie holds…TWO more singing sequences, including Myers performing a stirring rendition of More Than Words…that touching ballad by Extreme. Multiple shots to the crotch for different characters (that never gets old). At least, and don’t quote me on this, but at least 15 more penis jokes. A joke about how Indian people work the phones for Dell Computer. A very brave appearance by Kanye West. And…two humping elephants play a central role in the climax of the film. That’s right.

As the film ended to a dazzling “Indian” version of Steve Miller Band’s “The Joker” I looked around the theater and saw that excluding Sam and myself there were only 16 people there. 4 of them were alone. This makes me sad. Everyone needs to see this movie. This movie could cure AIDS if people with AIDS would just give it a chance. It could feed the hungry if the starved would just get their skinny ass to the theater. My only regret is this movie was not made before 9/11 because if Osama Bin Laden could have seen this movie…those horrible events might never have occurred.

I love the The Love Guru like few things I’ve ever encountered in my life. I certainly love it more than my family and friends. If it was possible, and I could replace my family with copies of The Love Guru, I would do it in a second. Whenever I meet a girl now, my first question will be if they liked The Love Guru. If they didn’t, I will punch them right in the fucking face. If they liked it as much as I did…I might marry them on the spot. This is what The Love Guru means to me. It is everything. It is the alpha and the omega. Immanuel Kant once wrote that, “Two things awe me most, the starry sky above me and the moral law within me.” Well, all due respect to that old Kant, but he is an fool. There is only one thing on Earth worthy of our awe…and it goes by the name of The Love Guru.

Grade? A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Best Scene? I cannot make this choice as each scene was breathtaking. The whole movie is the “Best Scene”.

Henry Saw: The Incredible Hulk

It's good. Not for everyone...but it's good.

Click the link below to read a full review.


I am very…surprised.

So as every rational person knows, Ang Lee’s Hulk (2003) was pretty bad. The Hulk himself looked kind of silly (and was always changing sizes for some reason). The story was a mess and the action was less than thrilling. It was well shot, and brilliantly edited (in terms of its style not content) but basically a fiasco. Even if it did give us the joke, “You won’t like the Hulk when he’s Ang Lee”.

So flash forward 5 years later and Marvel, who regained the rights to the character from Universal, decides to take another crack at The Hulk as the basis of a cinematic franchise. They handed the directorial reins to action-oriented Louis Leterrier (responsible for The Transporter franchise), pulled in some great actors like Ed Norton as Bruce Banner and Tim Roth as his adversary Emil Blonsky, and decided to start from scratch.

The result is a perfectly decent, fun, comic book movie. Ed Norton is his usual fantastic self. He gives Banner a lot of intelligence, dramatic interest, and just the right amount of fun. Ed Norton is perfectly aware he is in a genre piece and while he plays it straight, he still seems to be enjoying himself.

Also having a blast is Tim Roth. I like Tim Roth…I can’t look at him without thinking of his “I’M FUCKING DYING” from Reservoir Dogs…but he is almost always good. To give you a sense of how well he played his role, Ben actually preferred Tim Roth’s character over any other in the movie. And it isn’t that strange to be more charmed by the “villain” than the hero, what’s funny is that Blonsky isn’t really the villain for the majority of the film. He’s a soldier who has been told to capture Bruce Banner. That’s it. He’s not a bad guy…he doesn’t slaughter dozens of innocent people in his insane quest for Banner. Nothing like that. He’s just a guy who is nearing the end of his career, which is driving him crazy, and can’t take the fact that the Hulk exists. After he witnesses the Hulk’s power he is obsessed with somehow attaining it. He has a real character arc…I was very surprised.

Liv Tyler and William Hurt are the other two headline actors. They’re fine. Jennifer Connolly and Sam Eliot were both better as Betty and Thunderbolt Ross in Ang Lee’s movie. But the movie doesn’t really rely on them being anything better than decent which they pull off.

The action…very good. Leterrier was brought in to bring the “Hulk Smash” and he does so. Literally. There are 3 action sequences involving the Hulk and they’re all different and all pretty damn cool. The first involves Hulk basically hiding in the shadows of a factory while the military tries to take him down. I thought it was a little Batman Begins but it’s a well constructed sequence. The next, which is the Hulk versus the U.S. Military on a college campus, is a superior action scene. Sci-Fi weapons are employed, we get a glimpse of what a Captain America Versus Hulk fight would be like, and we get a very cool shot to finish it (the fire engulfing Hulk and Betty).

The last action scene, an “epic” battle in Harlem between The Hulk and Abomination was both thrilling and disappointing. Yes, it was the superhero fight that many have longed to see. Two insanely powerful creatures just pounding the shit out of each other. What’s not to like? And just so it is clear, it is really cool to watch. The fight is brutal, and very easy to follow, and has some really fun bits. I just wish it was more. And yes, as is, it’s still probably 9 minutes long (which is an eternity in a 110 minute movie) but I just wanted more. It’s hard to complain though. It’s a really fun fight (and I should say now that the effects throughout are really good).

As a comic book fan there is loads of fun stuff. References to the Super Soldier Program, characters from the Hulk comic books (including his arch-enemy), and of course…a certain cameo from the best character put to screen this year. I don’t know if its fair game to spoil it…but lets just say that the crowd went fucking nuts when this character appeared at the end. I gotta say…I was right there with them.

The Hulk is a fundamentally uninteresting character. So many archetypes go into him (Jekyll and Hyde, Frankenstein, drug addict, etc.) that he never really rises above "Hulk Smash Puny Human". Thankfully, unlike Ang Lee, the makers of The Incredible Hulk seem to know this. When Hulk is on screen it is about smashing. Now, seeing a giant green CGI character destroy things might not appeal to you. That's okay. Perfectly resonable. And if it doesn't, then nothing positive I'm saying about the film should make you see it. Because you will hate it. But for those of us not expecting much and just wanting some Hulk mayhem...the movie actually works.

Marvel is 2 for 2 so far. I fear they will rush Iron Man 2…and that Thor will suck…and that the director of the goddamn Notebook is directing Captain America…but thus far…Marvel has not given me any reason to doubt them.

Grade? B

Best Scene? A powered up Tim Roth versus The Hulk

Henry's Top 100: #55 - 300

The history? Garbage. I mean they get the most basic idea right. 300 Spartans were part of a force that encountered the Persians at Thermopylae. They did fight for three days. All but two were wiped out. And their story did inspire many Greeks after the fact. Oh and Leonidas was in fact the leader of the troops at Thermopylae. I think that’s about it…oh I guess Herodotus does claim that a soldier did indeed say the “fight in the shade” line…but that seems a little hard to believe. Other than that…the film, historically speaking, is rubbish. The Greek forces included soldiers from all over the country. There were not only 300 Spartans but each Spartan had a slave that would have fought along side them. Leonidas wife…I won’t even go there. He was married but to the best of our knowledge she did fuck-all while he was away.

Oh and Xerxes was not 9 feet tall and Ephialtes was not a deformed hunch-back.

Militarily the movie is only accurate for about one minute. The initial encounter between the Persian forces and the Spartan phalanx is a very good portrayal of how the Spartan army operated. After that, with all the individual pairing off and long tracking shots of one soldier killing a dozen men... the film doesn’t exactly strive for historical reenactment.

But, even as a classics minor, none of this bothers me. One reason is that 300 is based on a comic book by Frank Miller. And the film’s director, Zack Snyder, was intent on capturing Miller’s version of the story. Much of the film is a literal translation of the panels from the comic. To my mind, Snyder does an even better job of this than Robert Rodriguez did on the more acclaimed Sin City. There was no art to what Rodriguez did whereas much of 300 looks like a strange painted version of Miller's graphic novel. It’s hard to describe. For a bloody film, 300 is visually beautiful.

The other reason the inaccuracy doesn’t bother me at all? Because 300 is so much fun. It’s not trying to be a history lesson. In fact, it gives itself an out by having the whole movie being a story told by a Spartan soldier who survived Thermopylae to a camp full of troops. This is the legend he is telling to lift their spirits and inspire them to victory. It is the mythical version of Leonidas’ 300 men. I can go with that.

But what sets the film apart are the incredibly well done action scenes. There are two action scenes in particular (The tracking shot of Leonidas taking out Persians and the two Spartans fighting back-to-back) that are among my favorite of all time.

If you are a guy, you pretty much have to see this movie. You don't have a choice. Don't go expect a reinvention of the wheel (though the movie does have a unique look) but be ready for some action, some melodrama, and all the man thigh you can handle.

Bet Time Episode 2: The Results Are In

Translation: Victory Sam!

This past week I defeated Hen in our monthly bet. It was a couple weeks ago that I posted the actual terms of the bet, so here's a bit of a refresher.

Three Categories:
1. Beirut/Beer Pong (Best of Seven)
2. Baseketball (One Nine Inning Game)
3. Wiffle Ball Home Run Derby (10 outs a piece..yup just like in the majors)

The loser has to watch the Love Guru and write about how outstanding a film it is...ugh

The Results:

I would love to go into detail about each round of our epic showdown, but instead I'll let the camera do the talking....

I know, I know....Benny Hill....I had to...I just had to

Henry's Top 100: #56 - The Wizard of Oz

I don’t have childhood memories filled with The Wizard of Oz so maybe that’s why I can watch the movie now and recognize how cool this movie is. How cool is the theme for the evil woman on the bike who wants to take Toto away? How cool is the transition from color to light? Or the Munchkin song? Or the Scarecrow’s “If I only Had a Brain”? Or the Wicked Witch in every scene she’s in? Or evil flying monkeys?

The Wizard of Oz is a beloved classic for many reasons but part of the reason it holds up is that it is still pretty out there and weird. This is another movie I’m sure you’ve seen but watch it again. I guarantee you’ll like something about it you’ve never even noticed before.

Best Scene? The wind began to switch…

Henry's Top 100: #57 - 25th Hour

As I remember this was billed as the first Post-9/11 movie about New York. And it kind of shows. There is a lot of anger in Spike Lee’s film. It follows Ed Norton playing a guy who has 24 hours before he has to report to prison for dealing drugs. He goes out for one more night on the town with his girl-friend (Rosario Dawson) and his two best friends (Phillip Seymour-Hoffman and Barry Pepper).

The movie is made up of moments of touching friendship, tragic mistakes, and very human emotion. The acting, from every single cast member, is really strong. Of course Norton and Hoffman are good but Pepper and Dawson also surprise.

To get the full effect of the movie you absolutely can’t catch a neutered version on TNT or something. Go rent it, or buy it even as you will want to revisit it, and enjoy what is my favorite Spike Lee movie. Do The Right Thing might be the better film, and X might be more impressive, and Bamboozled might have more to say, but none of his movies get to me as much as 25th Hour does.

Best Scene? Barry Pepper and Ed Norton discuss what Norton’s life will be like when he gets out of prison.

Sam Saw: Death Note

Death Note is a feature film based on the well established Anime series which goes by the same name. The story follows a brilliant high school student by the name of Yagami Light. One day, while wandering in the park by his school he comes across a black notebook in the grass. The book is filled with a few pages of rules, followed by blank pages. Basically, it says that anyone whose name is written in the notebook will die. As a joke one night after finding the book, Light writes the name of a criminal he sees on the news and goes to sleep. The next morning he wakes up to the news report; The man is dead. The rest of the story follows Light as he gets more and more attached to using the death note. At first he kills only convicted criminals, then he expands to those he suspects of guilt and so on. The story is about Light's transformation as he becomes more and more corrupted by power and he becomes more and more black and white in his views on good and evil. This series, unlike a lot of anime is not about ridiculous looking action, it's more of a psychological thriller about one man's struggle with morality and power. I really believe that the story is what is important here, and thus I thought that Death Note would be a perfect candidate for a live action film unlike some anime movies (Dragon Ball Z). So, when I heard there was a live action film made in Japan in 2006 I jumped on the chance to see it.

So, I recently picked up a copy of Death Note, the feature film, and two nights ago, I got around to watching it. Death Note isn't a terrible film; it's problem lies in the fact that it is a movie made almost exclusively for people who have already seen the anime, which is great for Japan where everyone has seen it, but not so good for anywhere else. The movie lacks almost all of the plot development and drama of the anime series, and the characters are extremely one-dimensional in comparison to their anime counterparts. It plays more like a summary of the events of the anime rather than a story which can stand on its own...Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire anyone? I suppose that's understandable considering the anime is 26 episodes, and the movie is 2 hours long, but honestly I'd rather see a movie not made than a crappy summary-type movie ...yes I'm looking at you Warner Brothers..stop making shitty Harry Potter movies..I get it, books 4-7 are much longer than the first three, so do something about it, make book 6 and 7 into two-parters. Okay enough of that... I honestly can't recommend the Death Note movie, it's a shallow movie with mediocre production values. What I can do is recommend the anime. It's great, watch it. I know lots of Americans think anime sucks...tough it out, focus on the story and character development; I promise, you'll enjoy it.

Movie: C-
Anime: A

Henry's Top 100: #58 - Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Ever notice that this movie isn’t really that funny? As in laugh out loud funny? It’s just not. It’s a smile movie. Ferris Bueller makes you smile.

Who hasn’t seen Ferris Bueller? Do I really need to sell it to you? It has one of the most iconic characters ever put on film (Ferris, duh), one of the great supporting friends ever (“Let My Cameron Go”), the kinda creepy dude from Amadeus as the principle (“You’re ass is mine Bueller”) and even the “Your Fucked” lady from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

I know you’ve seen this movie so it is redundant for me to tell you why you should. Just enjoy this, my favorite scene:

Ben Saw: The Fall

This week, Ben reviews the recently released, hardly seen, The Fall.

Hit the jump for Ben's review.




I would kind of like to tell you that you should hate 'The Fall', that it's insipid.



That would be a lie though. The truth is that I loved 'The Fall'. It's a bit like 'Black Snake Moan' in that it should never have been allowed a commercial release. It has a tiny, tiny natural audience and you will never see a film quite like it. Here's the thing, though: this is not a movie best enjoyed by being a high-minded cineaste. The movie is, at times, silly, ponderous and in love with itself. It has a story-telling and visual approach that mirrors the very young girl (an amazing actress) that serves as the film's dramatic core. The costumes are....remarkably flamboyant; the last time I saw this many mostly-naked dudes was when I accidentally peeked under Henry's mattress.



But I gladly accept all this, because the dudes are in really good shape....wait...let me try that again. I gladly accept all of this because the movie absolutely sold me on being otherworldly and whimsical. It is a slightly dark children's movie in it's own way (the R rating is mystifying to me). It's so beautiful and trying to do so little with the story that I was happy to more or less disregard those clear flaws and let the looks and otherworldliness take me in.



The movie is initially set in a hospital in Los Angeles 'a very, very long time ago' (probably 1915 or so, say reviewers). A little girl named Alexandra (played by Catinca Untaru) has broken her arm and is bored. She eventually wanders in to the room of a bed-ridden and possibly paralyzed stuntman, Roy (played by Lee Pace). For a variety of reasons, Lee winds up telling Alexandra an epic story that provides an excuse for the beautiful shots and escapes in to fantasy. The tale is about five 'bandits' (based on people from the experience of the two characters, a la 'Wizard of Oz') who have all, for various reasons, sworn to kill the villainous Governor Odious. There's very little point in trying to retell the plot as it shifts with the circumstances of the real world (a la 'Princess Bride'), but suffice it to say that epic, slightly surrealist fantasy-adventure occurs sporadically, along with a great deal of wonderment and self-conscious melodrama.



You will either like this movie a lot, or you will be really annoyed by it. I can't see many people walking out of the theater without a strong reaction. If nothing else, the cinematography is unbelievable. It might not be the most effective for storytelling or clever in the kind of pictures that it shows, but it beats you over the head with its gorgeous and audacious imagery. It is unquestionably the most beautiful movie I have ever seen and some of the shots alone justify it's place in the film school canon. The fact that it apparently used NO CGI is mind-warping to me, I cannot adequately convey how impossible that seems to me and you will just have to see it to understand. However, it is trying so very hard and that it will alienate a huge portion of the film buff crowd that would otherwise make up its natural audience. The whole thing was a labor of love by the director, though, so I suppose a release was inevitable.



The director, a guy named Tarsem (yes, just Tarsem. He probably is a Brazilian athlete) also directed 'The Cell' which is a trippy, stupid suckfest featuring Vince Vaughn sleep-walking through yet another serious role and J. Lo. looking confused and surprisingly un-hot. 'The Fall' is a very different movie, but visually it's all Tarsem.



I can say very few intelligent things about this movie. It is weird as hell and Henry will hate it if he expects anything. Sam will probably be bored and laugh at the absurd costumes (a smart reaction on both counts). But going back to my first post, this movie isn't trying to be that smart or profound, it's trying to be visually striking, emotionally evocative and capable of evoking wonderment. It’s unconcerned with being silly. For me it was fabulously successful at all three of those things and I could forgive or forget all of its clear flaws. Just don't dig to deep in to the movie's brain because you will be shocked by the pretension and weird pacing.



Roger Ebert probably said it best about 'The Fall' (which he loved, by the way): "Tarsem's "The Fall" is a mad folly, an extravagant visual orgy, a free-fall from reality into uncharted realms. Surely it is one of the wildest indulgences a director has ever granted himself. Tarsem.....has made a movie that you might want to see for no other reason than because it exists. There will never be another like it."



Just don't think you won't hate it. You might.



My Grade: A. 'Fair' grade: B-

Henry's Top 100: #59 - The Insider

How do you make a really, really boring plot into a captivating movie? Give it to Michael Mann apparently.

The Insider tells the true story of a whistle-blower named Jeffery Wigand (played by Russel Crowe) who because of the prodding of 60 Minutes producer Lowell Bergman (Al Pacino) went on the show to expose the fact that the cigarette company knew that nicotine was addictive. I know…it does not sound like enough to fill a 60 Minutes episode, much less a 150+ minute movie.

But Mann pulls it off. And he owes a lot of it to his actors. What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the name Russel Crowe? Do you picture a nerdy, frumpy, white-haired, over-weight, manic depressive? After The Insider you just might. Crowe gives what I feel is his greatest performance (he earned his first Oscar nomination for the role) as Wigand, a man who nearly loses everything for having the courage to go up against “Big Tobacco”. Pacino, as the very New York Bergman, uses his antics to actually help the character. He charms you, disappoints you, and ultimately impresses you with his loyalty to Wigand. Another standout is Christopher Plummer as Mike Wallace. He plays him as an arrogant but forceful and intelligent man and has one of the best scenes of the movie all to his own.

Don’t see The Insider with the idea that you will learn anything. It’s not that kind of “true story”. See it because it somehow makes what should be a dull T.V. movie into a riveting Best Picture Nominee. Crowe and Pacino are great, the supporting cast is strong, and the whole thing just works.

Best Scene? I do like Christopher Plummer chewing out Gina Gershon but I suppose this is the standout:

Henry's Top 100: #60 - Eastern Promises

Here's the thing about this movie - it's tight. Not "tight" as in how a 13 year old douche bag would use the word, like "that's tight, yo.". That's not what I mean. I mean that Eastern Promises is compact; it has no fat on its bones. Its a tight, perfect, knot of a crime movie.

The story follows a nurse from London (played by Naomi Watts) who through a twist of fate becomes involved with the Russian Mob with the life of an infant in the balance. Viggo Mortensen plays a driver for the mob who becomes interested in Watts while he tries to keep the son of the mob boss in check.

The best thing that I can say about this movie, and the reason I like it so much, is that there is not one detail that is not needed. The movie accomplishes in 100 minutes what other crime epics can't do in 3 hours. It contains an amazing fight scene, strong character development, and an ending that makes you wish Cronenberg would make more movies set in this universe.

Eastern Promises, despite Viggo's Oscar nom, got very little attention when it came out. If you haven't seen it, and can take a little violence and sex, add it to your queue. Its an incredibly sharp film.

Best Scene? The fight scene is the show-stopper but my favorite is the initial meeting between Watts and the mob boss. Armin Müller-Stahl plays the role of the kingpin with the right amount of grace and menace.

Henry's Top 100: #61 - Munich

Is this “Spielberg’s Forgotten Masterpiece”? Not quite. Its politics are a little too questionable and I just hate the scenes showing the actual events at the Munich Olympics as Spielberg imagines them….but as a 70’s style espionage / assassination film its incredibly strong.

Munich reaches heights that Spielberg hasn’t touched since 1993 when he released Jurassic Park AND Schindler’s List. I can quite easily say Munich is my favorite Spielberg film since those two modern classics. Munich follows five Israeli assassins (including Eric Bana and Daniel Craig) as they plan and execute assassinations of the men who planned the Munich terrorist attack.

The strength of the movie is in the interactions of the five assassins and the scenes in which they commit their hits. They are handled with a “Hitchcockian” grace and urgency.

Munich was completely looked over when it came out and I think is basically considered a failure. It is not, and it is as vibrant as Spielberg has felt in years. Check it out…and even though it is hard, I recommend that you try to separate the politics from the plot. As a statement movie it is clumsy. As a thriller it’s a must-see.

Henry Saw: Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda is...good enough. It is a solid kids movie that moves at a brisk pace and has some really fun moments.

The story, about an overweight panda named Po (Jack Black) who finds out he is destined to be the "Dragon Warrior", is a pretty basic "believe in yourself" tale but functions fine for the audience the film is intended for. Po, through a twist of fate, joins up with the "Furious Five" - a heroic band of Kung Fu warriors made up of animals who have a corresponding fighting style in Kung Fu (Mantis, Monkey, Crane, etc.) The Furious Five do not like Po at first and their early interaction is the funniest stuff in the movie.

We've come to a point where you know that the animation in these CGI family films is going to be good so the only question becomes: Does the animation work? Does it suit the tone? Do the action scenes have the proper energy and flow? The answer to all these questions is YES. The animation is very eye-friendly. The different animal warriors are very well composed and the action scenes are actually quite interesting.

The movie isn't exactly smart, and other than Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman as the Yoda-esque Kung Fu master Shifu, and Ian McShane as the villain Tai Lung, the other celebrity voices (such as Angelina Jolie voicing a member of the Furious Five) are sort of lost in the shuffle. But Kung Fu Panda is a respectable entry in the family film genre. It is better than the average kids movie and is a decent place holder until Wall*E sends children into joy spasms in a few weeks.

Grade: B

Best Scene? Tai Lung fights the "Furious Five" on a broken bridge.

Henry's Top 100: #62 - Snatch

Guy Ritchie. If you've followed movies, or Madonna, for the last ten years you probably have an opinion of him. I'm not that big a fan. I know a lot of people love Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels but I'm just not that big a fan. But I really enjoy Snatch.

It has no pretensions of being a great crime movie and focuses on being a really fun crime movie. It's not for everyone...its crass and feels the need to push everything up to "11" but if you can get in the mood of the movie, it's a blast.

Also, it has one of the most inspired performances Brad Pitt has ever given. He plays a "Pikey" (think of it like an English Gypsy) and half of what he says can't be understood...but it is really entertaining:



The movie has a ton of moving parts and a lot of characters but it all holds together. This is my favorite of the late 90's wave of English crime movies, and I strongly recommend you get a few of the guys together, some beers, and enjoy some Snatch.

Best Scene? Beware of spoilers...but my favorite scene in the movie come towards the end. So don't hit play if you don't want anything ruined:

Henry's Top 100: #63 - Ghostbusters

On a list of great New York movies you'll find tons of Woody Allen movies, Spike Lee movies, movies about business, about "going out"...but one movie that should be on every "Best of New York" list is Ghostbusters.

Because I'm not sure a movie has ever captured the spirit of New York better. The movie may be partially about ghosts but the movie is as alive as New York.

This is one of Ben's childhood favorites and it really is one of the greats. Very few comedies still resonate after 24 years but Ghostbusters still makes me laugh. Bill Murray is of course the breakout star, but Aykroyd, Reitman, and Hudson ("I have seen shit that'll turn you white") are all really funny as well. Weaver does what she can as the main vessel of Zuul. And Ramis gets what I feel is the funniest scene in the movie.

If you haven't seen Ghostbusters...you suck. Watch it now, and get an idea of how people "do things downtown."

Best Scene? Harold Ramis, as the Key Master, telling a horse "Wait for the sign. Then all prisoners will be released."

The Golden Compass is Not That Bad

I just saw the Golden Compass. From everything I had heard, it should have been a steaming pile of crap, but to be honest, I found it to be really fun. I thought it created a really magical and interesting world. The special effects were well done, and not overused as in some recent movies...cough..cough...Indiana Jones..cough..cough. Let's be fair here. It's a children's story, and under that criteria it's not half bad; The story is not terribly deep, and the ending is a bit of a "see you next time for the sequel", but that's okay. Of course, it also has that whole "embodiment of the anti-catholic (insert any other oppressive religion here) movement" thing going for it, but hey, kids won't get that anyways and that's who the movie is made for, so who cares....well maybe the people from Jesus Camp, but they worship George Bush and think Harry Potter is evil, so screw them...I Liked The Golden Compass.

Henry's Top 100: #64 - Cruel Intentions

This is one of the more intelligent "high school" movies ever made. In fact, calling it a high school movie is sort of silly. The characters act like 25 year olds (not to mention they look like 25 year olds) and as far as I remember there are no scenes set in the high school. Still, something really works about taking Pierre Choderlos de Laclos' Dangerous Liaisons and reenacting it with "16" year olds.

Sarah Michelle Geller is great in the Glenn Close roll of the queen bitch, manipulating everyone around her, with sex as her greatest weapon. I know for everyone she is just Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but as someone who doesn't watch that show, this is the role I associate her with. Ryan Phillippe is fine as the lead and Reese Witherspoon is well cast as the virginal object of Phillipe's desire.

But the best part of the movie is not really the cast, and you can't really give it too much credit for the story (though it is a clever adaptation), but more the little things. The witty lines of dialogue, the music, the look, etc.

The movie has one of the better opening, tone-setting, scenes I can think of. The last scene is also particularly effective with The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony providing a great exeunt song.

This is a movie that might only be right for a certain age group. If you are too old you might think it's stupid...too young and you won't get it. But if you see it at the right time I think you will have a lot of fun with it.

Best Scene? The opening, with the Tara Reid cameo, that tells us everything we need to know about Phillippe's character.

Henry's Top 100: #65 - The Bourne Identity

Did The Bourne Identity save us from Wire-fu? I think its possible. Almost every action movie after The Matrix and before Bourne Identity employed wires in their action scenes. People took unnaturally long leaps, ridiculous flips, etc. Then Bourne Identity came along and showed people how a well edited and well choreographed fight scene could be done without fucking wires. (The two Bourne sequels employed the other cardinal sin of action scenes- hyper editing).

Bourne Identity also helped save Matt Damon's career. Which is a good thing because he is an excellent actor and a great movie star.

The Bourne Identity is the best spy film ever made and a really cool action film. It has great fight scenes, a fantastic Parisian car chase scene, and a very grounded plot.

Most critics prefer the subsequent Bourne films. For me, it doesn't get better than this.

Best Scene? The Embassy escape.