Henry's Top 100: #69 - Dodgeball

Ben's Turn:

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Note: Apparently this blog has readers beyond our court-appointed supervisors. Some of these mystery readers will like one or more of the old trends mentioned below; instead of getting mad, you should accept that you like something that was judged, posthumously, to suck. Be proud that you know the secret wisdom of Chingy, absurdly jingoistic anti-communism movies from the 80's or Jefferson Starship while the rest of us miss out.

There was a time when Day-Glo t-shirts, ‘Eastern Gurus’ born in Wichita, Kansas or New Kids on the Block (aka NKOTB) were each considered intensely cool. Clearly, there are a lot of ideas that seem like a good idea in the moment that, in retrospect were…well…..fucking stupid.

(Note 2: Yes yes, I’m going somewhere with this. Shut up and let me ramble for a second.)

I find it very hard to predict what trends will meet the fate of, say, “super-tight, acid wash jeans for men” when a given trend is at its height. Allow me to try and predict a soon-to-be-discredited trend now that it seems to be thoroughly on the decline: the “catchphrase comedy.”

You probably know what I’m talking about. Those movies that were, ultimately, trying to gauge their own success by how many times a college-age guy quoted them in or out of context with his buddies. Obviously, this was epitomized by the ‘Frat Pack’ (Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, et. al.) We were overwhelmed by these things for a while and the shtick has clearly worn thin with the taste-making movie crowd, the critics and the public at-large (roughly in that order, too). The trend now seems to have moved towards the Judd Apatow ‘real guy comedy, that’s sort-of a chick flick’. The last half of 'Wedding Crashers' seemed to handle that baton pass.

Well, I have a confession to make: my name is Ben and I love catchphrase comedies.

Not all catchphrase comedies, of course. ‘Starsky and Hutch’ is unsalvageable. Still, a lot of them are funny, despite having been quoted to death, and for me the funniest of all is


'Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story'. You can probably guess the story, but it’s a send up of the classic underdog sports movie. In this case Vince Vaughn and the borderline retarded members of his crappy gym (Average Joe’s) have just….one…last….chance to save the place before it’s taken over by Ben Stiller, owner of fitness corporation ‘Globogym’, and his crew of over-muscled goons. If you know the plot of any sports movie ever, you can guess the plot of this movie.


There are a lot of parts to Dodgeball that are just amazing. The sight gags and throwaways are often painfully funny: Bernice the roiding Girl Scout, killing a man with a dodgeball, several well-chosen cameos (by Lance Armstrong and Chuck Norris before he was cool again), the wonderful parody of ESPN. I say ‘Interesting strategy, Cotton’ more than I’d like to admit.

The actors work well too: The Mac Guy gets abuse heaped upon him. Vince Vaughn is consistently charming and amusing, he even manages to make Ben Stiller funny (“the mongrel race that comprises your membership”). I will always say ‘Yarrrrr’ at the sight of Alan Tudyk, which made ‘3:10 to Yuma’ a great opportunity to make Hen shoot beer from his nose with laughter. Why? Because Christian Bale’s be the only place for Steve. I digress…..

Look, I’m trying to make it sound like there’s a lot to like about Dodgeball and that’s true, but it misses the point. The bottom line is that Patches O’Houlihan (Average Joe’s dodgeball coach) played by Rip Torn might be the funniest character of the past 20 years. Maybe ever. I don’t know. These things are impossible to rank. But when he’s asked by the team how he’s going to teach them to dodge things thrown at them, he throws a bag down on the floor with a clank; “That’s what this sack of wrenches is for”. When he’s trying to encourage the team he urges them to grab victory and “hump it in to submission”. When he’s critical: : "you’re about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop.”

I have a feeling that people who have seen the movie know to love these lines and for people that haven’t they just seem inexplicable. I cannot convey Patches’ greatness. Maybe no one can. I shouldn’t even try. But I challenge you to watch this and not have a crazy old man in a Jazzy be the thing that keeps you from grouping catchphrase comedy in with disco.


Oh, and one more thing: “I’ve got some hookers in my room…..”